Super Final Fantsy
by Angel Weasel-Woman
Summary: Desperate to get Squall to love her most, Rinoa sends a letter to a different dimension. But the results she gets aren't quite the ones she wants. Crossover. SquallxZell.


The sun shone over the Mushroom Kingdom, illuminating all the land except the steel-colored castle, mote of lava casting instead a crimson glow. The spiraling towers at each compass point clawed up at the dreary gray sky, flame-red roof spiked to deadly peaks. Glaring out of one window, the wrought iron forming Hellish flames about his face, Bowser focused on the sun, hiding behind a passing cloud.

Was that thing wearing sunglasses again?

He reached for the table beside him absently, snatching up an empty soda can. Taking careful aim, he hurled it into the sky, smacking the Angry Sun in the face.

"Get outta here!" he cried as it yelped and fled, sunglasses falling to the ground where a stray Boo picked them up and put them on, wandering off so that, he was sure, it could go eat them in privacy.

The Koopa made a face at the odd creatures that congregated in his front yard and was about to turn away when there arose such a desperate squeaking, that he opened the window and leaned out, looking for the source. He decided that this was a bad idea when a Fly Guy's propellers nearly sliced his face off as the little creature flew in the room, panting from its odd excursion that had pulled it from its home dimension and into another. Without even the use of pipes! Who would have thought of such a world!

Bowser stared at the squeaking red thing bouncing on his floor, flailing wildly and gesturing to the, proportionally, oversized envelope. He knew it was trying to tell him something, but he wasn't too fluent in "Shy Guy"-ese. He did know some curses, though, and the Fly Guy seemed to be full to the brim of them.

"Just give me that," he grumbled, gravely voice stopping the 'Guy in mid-squeak. The creature handed him the envelope and, as soon as it was out of its grasp, took off, heading down the dark corridor. As Bowser broke the seal, he called after the Fly Guy, "Don't eat all my food this time!"

There was a squeak that Bowser was sure translated into "screw you" and sighed. He should really be less lenient with houseguests and his kitchen.

The manila envelope in his claws was placed on the table where the soda can once was (meanwhile, a Goomba waddled across the lawn, tripped over said can, cursed and continued on it's way), the letter within having been extracted. Bowser gagged at the heavy scent of magic that the thick, pink paper reeked of.

'_Dear Bowser, Greatest King of All Koopas. _(He snorted. Whatever mage had written this sure knew flattery.) _I have heard of your escapades involving the Princess of the Realm and your foe Mario._ (Foe? They hadn't been foes since the incident with Exor. The "kidnappings" these past years had all been for fun.) _I humbly request a simple charge of you._ (Charge? He smirked. Pretty presumptuous to tell _him_ to do something.)_ My very home has been invaded by a horrible annoyance who continuously threatens the love between my soon-to-be-fiancée and I. I desire for simply one thing – to make him love me more than the other. Included are ingredients for a spell and, as well, I wish for you to kidnap me and my Love will come for me, strengthening the bonds of our True Love._

Bowser groaned and crumpled up the letter, tossing it into the air and snorting a puff of fire at it. As the ashes floated to the floor and the overpowering sense of magic faded, the Koopa cautiously regarded the envelope lying innocently on the table.

"'True Love' my shell," he growled. "I know a binding spell when I see one - even I'm not stupid enough to screw around with love magic. Nothing breaks faster and deadlier than something like that." Still, he was curious to see what inane things the mage thought would be necessary for such a spell. He reached for the envelope, peering cautiously inside as the stench of more magic flittered out. A picture, a strand of hair, a… vile of blood! Did he even want to know how that was obtained much less what else was in there!

He quickly snatched up the photo, not wanting to touch anything else in there and set the package, too, aflame, vaguely wondering when he was going to remember to sweep up the ashes. Ignoring that little voice, he looked at the picture, studying it intently.

Oaken hair, blue-gray eyes, a scar running from over one eyebrow to under the other eye. He was dressed all in black, fur about the collar of his jacket, and had more buckles than was probably legal. In his hands, being swung at a large, blue bug-like beast was some odd crossbreed of broadsword and gun. Judging by the look of concentration on his face, the boy in black had no idea he was having his picture taken.

Whoever had taken this picture was kind of creepy, his mind thought and, for once this day, he was in full agreement.

Ignoring the, now not-as-overpowering, magic-stench, he stalked out of the room and down the hall, unlocking a gold-and-steel door hidden under a crimson tapestry in the back of the hall. Shutting the door behind him with a heavy thud, he turned to a large crystal mirror, laid flat on its back. Intricate emerald and ruby designs crawled along the edges, reaching and meshing.

Bowser waddled up to it, placing the picture directly in the middle of the mirror. He allowed his eyes to slip unfocused and he quieted the little voice in the back of his mind, reminding him that he was only doing this to see who the creepy mage was that drenched everything in magic. The photo was the only thing there, sitting upon the glass as though mocking.

Finally. A flicker of motion. The picture rustled irritably. Black hair, blue eyes.

Bowser gagged and backed off before the mirror could crack.

By all the colors of Star Road! The amount of magic pouring off that girl was incredible!

The Koopa wheezed and gasped for breath, coughing up blood. Even though a mere mirror, that he could be as affected by such magic! Did she have no idea how to contain the whispers, the breaths, the ropes, the _tangible feeling_ of the magic surrounding her? There was no doubt in Bowser's mind that she could very well create such a binding spell as she'd demanded in her letter.

She probably just doesn't want to be caught in the backlash, he snarled, glaring at the mirror and picture as though they were the cause of his pain. And that poor "annoyance" as she had called it in the letter. He felt sorry for whoever it was.

Golden hair.

Bowser held his breath, read for another blast of magic as the picture fluttered on top of the mirror.

Blue eyes appeared. No horrendous magic, but instead a calm, sweet feeling enveloped the room. An intricate, black design. An almost erotic feeling.

Bowser tore his eyes away, snorting in disgust.

If a mere _picture_ could create such emotions there was no doubt who the "annoyance" was there…

Suddenly, Bowser felt more determined than he had been in a long time. He blew fire at the picture, engulfing it in flames and not leaving a mark on the mirror.

I'll show that mage who the "annoyance" is, he thought angrily, and I'll teach you not to tell me, King Bowser, to throw my life and peace-of-mind away.

* * *

Rinoa smiled across the table, fingers hidden beneath the faux-wood clenching her thighs so hard she was leaving bruises. That _pest_ was hanging off her boyfriend – stealing him away from her! 

"Hey," she said suddenly as the magic thrumming in her heart spiked without warning. _He_ must be arriving to help her. One of the greatest mages in the universe.

Squall cast her his usual cool look and Zell stopped his mindless chatter long enough to hear her out. For a moment, Rinoa had to hide her glare under a mournful pout before she could speak. "It's so boring here. Why don't we go somewhere – Balamb, maybe."

"'Boring'?" Zell repeated, quirking an eyebrow. "Only two months ago we went through all that time crap and you wanna go and find more?"

"Of course not," Rinoa laughed, waving him off. She then motioned to the Garden cafeteria all around them. "But day after day of this – it's starting to get a little redundant. I just want some fresh air."

Zell almost continued to whine, but Squall spoke softly, resignedly, "All right, Rinoa. We'll go."

Rinoa squeaked happily and stood, bounding over to the brunette, grasping Squall's wrist tightly. "Let's go then!" She yanked and tugged, eventually pulling Squall to his feet as well.

Feeling the pressure of Rinoa's claw-like nails even though his bomber, Squall repressed a wince and looked at Zell who was had a mournful air hanging about him suddenly. "Are you coming with us?"

Immediately, Zell's expression brightened and he bounced to his feet. "Ya don't mind?"

Squall's lips twitched and a warm feeling spread from his chest. "No."

Rinoa's grip tightened, reminding him to her presence. He glanced quickly at her face and saw her smiling.

"The more the merrier. We'll meet you at the front gates, ok, Zell? Squall needs to get his gunblade."

Zell gave a thumbs up and a grin, fishing in his back pocket with one hand to make sure his gloves were with him. Wile weapons weren't allowed in the common grounds of Garden (with the exception of gloves as long as they were off), they were all but necessary when leaving for the fields.

Ignoring the little flutter of his heart at being invited somewhere by Squall (even if it was just outside and with Rinoa), Zell paced impatiently at the front gate, flexing and unflexing his hands, shaking the tension from his arms and legs. His mind drifted as his paces suddenly turned into shadow boxing. Soon, he was lost in his own little fantasy of Squall showing up, by himself without the harpy hanging on his arm. He would invite Zell to the beach where those three soft words – words he'd wanted to hear for so long now – would be shared. Then, even softer hands and lips…

Except there were two major flaws:

Squall was straight.

And he had a girlfriend.

Zell bit his lip, punches flying faster and harder. It wasn't fair. He was the one who's loved and supported Squall for _years_ now! Then the harpy shows and, out of nowhere, sinks her talons into Squall's heart.

He stopped his fist two inches from colliding with Rinoa's face. At her indignant shriek, he grinned and lightly flicked her nose with his index finger. "Hey, princess."

Rinoa pouted and hid herself behind Squall, muttering, "You're such a meanie, Zell."

The blonde laughed and thought, But if Squall likes her enough to be her boyfriend, I guess I can let him go… So that he can be happy…

"Let's go," Squall announced, stepping away from Rinoa who was sticking her tongue out in an attempt t be adorable. She whined softly when he pulled away from her and proceeded to catch a handful of his jacket, quickly following. Zell nearly gagged at the sight, but followed as well, trying to still his fluttering heart at the thought of going somewhere with Squall.

* * *

One thing was for certain, Zell thought as he kicked away the Caterchipiller that was trying to bite his arm off. And that was that Rinoa needed a good slap in the face. Or maybe a punch. 

Said woman shrieked again as a Bite Bug dive-bombed her head, easily sailing out of the way of her Shooting Star. Flailing wildly, she fell over onto her rump, flinching as the blue monster readied itself to sting her unmercifully. The Caterchipiller gave a feeble cry as what passed for its spine snapped and Zell flung himself away from it, running over and punching the Bite Bug into Squall's range, the Lion finishing it off with a shot to the head.

Zell grinned at Squall but winced when Rinoa gave a high-pitched wail and, still on the ground, threw her arms about Squall's waist, nearly knocking him down. Squall bit his lip to repress a sigh and began the long, tedious task of removing Rinoa from his person.

Zell huffed and put a hand in his pocket to hide a clenched fist. "Rinoa," he began, speaking loudly to be heard over the wailing. "If you didn't want to come, why don't you just go back?"

"No!" Rinoa's grip tightened suddenly and Squall winced. He could feel his pelvis cracking already… "I want to! I just… wasn't ready for those things."

Zell frowned and Squall gave a soft grunt of achievement as he finally pried Rinoa off of him. Climbing to her feet when she realized that Squall wasn't going to help her no matter how cutely she pouted, Rinoa said almost defiantly, "I want to go to Balamb!"

Zell growled silently and noticed Squall's shoulders tense up momentarily. The brunette's eyes flashed, but he was back to his back to his usual stoic self. The blonde repressed the urge to smack the girl senseless and instead opted for pushing forward, passing both of the others, frozen for their own reasons of either trying to remain calm or trying to get her way.

He was a few feet in front of them when he turned around and, with his hands on his hips, quirked an eyebrow, saying, "Well? If you want to get to Balamb before sunset, princess, we'd better get going."

Rinoa angrily opened her mouth to say something when Squall stepped forward, unsheathed his gunblade and cried, "Look out!"

A shadow fell over Zell just moments before a clawed, scaly hand wrapped about his waist, yanking him off his feet. He yelped loudly as he was dropped on a hard, cold steel that seemed to keep him down so that he couldn't get back up. Deep, gravely laughter echoed over the planes and whatever metallic prison cages him jerked, shifting suddenly and wildly. He writhed on the floor, attacking whatever he could touch with his fists, nails and teeth, sense of survival far outweighing manly pride.

That same clawed hand appeared before his face, a round, black object held within, a fuse quickly burning down. Before the bomb exploded, in the back of his mind, Zell noticed the minuscule lambs dancing around the middle.

* * *

Squall snarled, the hammer of the Lionheart clicking uselessly as the chamber emptied. The clown-tulip-trash-can-ship shook wildly and an explosion of blue smoke erupted from it, the clouds vaguely forming little, napping lambs. Squall reached for more ammo and was ready to run after the lizard-beast that had taken Zell when Rinoa snatched his arm, crying out wildly, "Squall, no! You aren't junctioned! You'll be killed if you go after him." 

Squall tore his arm away from her and glared so harshly that she could feel the temperature drop as he roared, "I'm not going to abandon Zell!" He turned back and saw the beast disappear into a … giant green pipe that had appeared, jutting out of the mountainside several miles north of the Fire Cavern.

Rinoa's hands were clenched and her head was bowed so that her bangs covered her face. "I don't want to lose you Squall," she hissed.

The Lionheart in his hands was quivering. He glared horribly at the pipe in the mountains. "Go back," he commanded, voice cold. "Get the others and the GFs. Tell them to equip and junction themselves. We're getting Zell back."

Rinoa froze for a fraction of a moment before turning and bolting. Squall turned and, as he reloaded the Lionheart, noticed a scrap of parchment on the ground where Zell once stood. He strode over and snatched up It up, reading the lizard's words.

_If you want your Princess back, go to the castle on Vista Hill. I can guarantee her safety, but not yours. _

– _Bowser, King of all Koopas _

Squall growled and crushed the paper in his hand. Bowser had abducted the wrong person. Rinoa's safety would have been assured, but what about Zell?

He couldn't wait for GFs. He ran to the mountain.

* * *

As soon as Rinoa was far enough away from Squall, she slowed to a tremulous stalk. That bastard turtle, her mind snarled. He was supposed to kidnap her! Not that little pest… 

She unclenched her fists, wincing at the sight of blood on her nails from where they had bit into her palms. He took a breath and forced herself to relax. "No matter," she said aloud. "Bowser has Zell now. And if that turtle knows what's good for him, he'll get rid of Zell as soon as possible."

With that thought firmly in mind, Rinoa ran again towards Balamb Garden, a mask of worry and fear carefully crafted over her features.

* * *

Princess Peach Toadstool sat on the roof of her castle, legs kicking out over the edge. She leaned back on one hand, the other holding a mostly-eaten apple that she was currently snacking on. A light breeze blew and Peach closed her eyes, a content smile curving her lips as a few stray stands of blonde hair broke loose from her ponytail and gently teased her nose. Swiping hem away from her face, her smiled turned into a small grin at the thought of what Toad would say to her when he found her like this: hair, after hours of her servants' meticulous grooming, pulled into a high ponytail, a pair of hip-hugging, light blue jeans and a deep pink tank top hugging her twenty-one-year-old body. Her regular blue pearls were still in her ears but her tiara was flippantly cast aside, glinting in the sunlight just a few feet away. 

She nibbled daintily at what remained of her apple, tossing the core off the edge of the roof into the moat as she chewed; a small Goby bounced out of the water and snatched up the remaining fruit, disappearing as suddenly as it appeared. Gently, Peach licked the remaining juice from her fingertips and fell back, enjoying the feeling of being lazy like the young adult she was. She placed her hands behind her head and sighed contentedly, closing her eyes and allowing the sun to tan her pale flesh.

Peach was just drifting off into a light nap when the sound of a pipe floated across her ears and the tangible feel of black magic rubbed against her skin. Opening one powder blue eye, she scanned the sky until she found the Clown Copter floating through the sky, a green pipe hovering in the clouds. Was Bowser here to "kidnap" her again? Usually he sent some kind of notice…

She leapt to her feet as Bowser's 'Copter suddenly jerked, spinning out wildly for a few moments before there was an explosion of blue smoke that she recognized as a Sleepy Bomb and the 'Copter slowly steadied itself.

Peach frowned, gently nibbling on her lower lip. What was going on? Bowser never lost control, and even if he did, why would he use a Sleepy Bomb?

The Princess stood and headed towards the stain-glass window on the tower, taking up her crown on the way, the hidden entrance opening for her. Something was going on and as the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom, she had a responsibility to make sure it wasn't harmful to her people.

But she would miss being lazy…

* * *

Bowser landed the 'Copter on the roof of him castle and leapt out, tossing in the last five of his Sleepy Bombs. That blonde sure had a resistance to Sleep. Not only was it damn inconvenient when he woke way too often, it was going to be very expensive when Bowser had to restock. 

When he was certain that the boy was going to be out of it for a while, Bowser gently picked him up and limped towards the trap door hidden under the tiles, his legs oozing bright green blood from where the blonde had managed to tear through his scales and skin. Now inside the attic area of his castle, Bowser searched out the stairwell that would lead to the central tower from a door in the wall. Once he was within the main portion of the tower, he made his way up the stairs to the thick oak door and shouldered it open.

The first thing that blinded his eyes was _pink_. Pink bedspread was on a fluffy, down mattress with a lacy pink next flowing down from the ceiling. More pink lace was hung over a stained-glass window, obscuring whatever light randomly shone through. Pushed up against the same wall (which itself was such a light pink it was almost white) as the window was a deep pink wardrobe that was full of the Princess' dresses. Next to that was a modest desk of the same color, a few writing utensils still scattered across it from Peach's last visit. The only thing that wasn't pink was the plush, deep blue carpet.

Bowser lumbered across the floor and carefully set the blonde down on the bed so as not to jar him from the effects of the Sleepy bomb. Ever so carefully, Bowser backed out of the room, shutting the door as silently as it would and quickly clicking the lock into place. He sighed and sagged against the door. He wasn't made to be gentle!

There was a squeaking and the Koopa looked up. That Fly Guy was still here! He huffed smoke and was about to yell at it when he paused. Now that the blonde was in the Tower, as it was affectionately called, he could be conscious as long as he wanted. "You, 'Guy," he growled, pointing at the hovering creature. "You've been here all day, so go get me an Able Juice and a Kerokercola."

The Fly Guy squeaked and fluttered off the "putputput" of its propellers echoing down the stairwell as it made its way to the kitchen. It was only a few moments later when the 'Guy reappeared, weighed down by the recovery items.

"You sure didn't waste your time finding the kitchen," Bowser grumbled, taking the Kerokercola and popping it open. He then unbolted the door and cracked it slightly. "Give the Able Juice to the guy in there – it can be your way of paying for the food you took."

The 'Guy squeaked and flew into the room, fighting with the juice box as Bowser sipped from his fizzy, healing soda. The aching of his bruised and bleeding legs lessened as his wounds patched themselves up, capillaries healing and reabsorbing blood, muscle and skin cells copying and splitting to replace and fix missing and torn flesh. From within the room, the Fly Guy squeaked joyfully as it finally opened the juice and carefully, so as not to spill any on the expensive-looking mattress, placed a drop on each of the blonde's closed eyelids and poured the rest in his mouth. The blonde immediately sat up, coughing and sputtering and knocking the 'Guy off balance. It was about to start squeaking angrily when the blonde threw a punch at it, flinging himself from the bed even though he was still wheezing. The 'Guy shrieked and bolted from the room as fast as it could, Bowser slamming the door shut just as it exited. It whined and hid behind the Koopa as he locked the door and placed a spell on it so that no matter how much the blonde fought, he wouldn't be able to break down the door.

"How was that for payment?" Bowser asked the Fly Guy as the door shuddered with the force of the blonde's punching and yelling.

The 'Guy cursed and left, now ready to go back home.

Bowser snorted in amusement and downed the rest of his 'cola. He crushed the can in one hand and called loudly so that the blonde could hear him over his yelling, "It's no use, Princess, only your Knight can save you now!"

There was a pause in motion and Bowser could almost hear the confused, "Princess…? Knight…?" He snorted and began to lumber down the stairwell as the blonde began to yell again, more in confusion this time than anything else.

* * *

Zell pounded uselessly against the door, ramming his shoulder into it when his hands began to fall numb. 

"Let me out!" He cried, voice hoarse and throat burning. He couldn't remember how long he'd been yelling at the door, but it was long enough to bruise and bloody his knuckles even through his gloves. He'd attempted, a while ago, to attack the window but with the first punch he'd thrown the glass had wavered and reflected the force of his punch back upon him, sending him flying back across the room. After that, he'd gone back to the door.

He sagged against the door, exhausted. "I want to go home," he whined, closing his eyes. He missed the salty air of Balamb, the cries of seagulls, the scent of sand and fish. The taste of his mother's cooking or, when she was feeling lazy, one of the restaurants that lined the seashore. He missed the under-population of Garden, its only inhabitants those from Balamb or those rich enough to afford the train ticket for the under-sea tunnel. He missed the scent of sweat and books that permeated the halls, reaching all over the school. He missed his friends. He missed…

"Squall…"

* * *

Princess Toadstool stood before the gates of Bowser's castle. She smoothed the ruffles out of her dress, adjusted her crown so that it sat perfectly upon her hair that once more framed her face in blonde feathers and raised a dainty hand to knock. There was a moment's pause before a Boo poked its head out of the thick wood and gurgled questioningly at her. 

"Tell Sir Bowser that Princess Toadstool requests an audience with him," she spoke, every word falling evenly from her made-up lips.

The Boo gave a howling shriek and a short cackle before vanishing, presumably to find Bowser and relay the message. Once more sentenced to waiting, the Princess clasped her hands together and rested them on the front of her skirts. She breathed a soft sigh and refused to nibble her lip, nearly jumping out of her skin as the gates suddenly swung open, inviting her within. She steadied her nerves (she just wasn't used to being scared – not even nervous – in the mere presence of Bowser's keep anymore) and stepped inside, gently walking down the red carpet and through the main hall, Terrapins greeting her as she passed. She pushed open the red doors when she reached them, the regular breath of hot air blasting her and nearly ruining her appearance. She paused only momentarily to re-fix her ruffled dress and smooth down the stray strands of hair before continuing on, wooden bridge wobbling under her and causing her to unconsciously gather magic under her feet incase the need to float arise.

Carefully, Toadstool made her way across the bridge, the little Fire Balls leaping out of the lava beneath her feet to get a decent look at her. As she stepped onto the black and gray marble, she gathered her will which had been scattered to the four winds at all the shaking that the bridge had done, reabsorbed the magic that was leaking from her feet and pushed open the door to the throne room.

Bowser looked up from the list of Items he was preparing to buy (no use buying Sleepy Bombs and running out of something else) and nodded once to Toadstool. "How may I help you, princess?" he questioned, the pleasant tone grinding against his throat.

"Earlier this day," Toadstool began, not wasting time on idle pleasantries, "you were seen flying over the Mushroom Kingdom. You lost control of your transport and used what appeared to be a Sleepy Bomb." She drew herself up and looked at Bowser with cool eyes. "You have been dismissed of all charges concerning the Royal Mushroom Family, however, we will not permit you to cause war with neighboring nations due to your abduction of a political member."

Bowser chuckled, ignoring how Toadstool's eyes narrowed. "Jealous, princess?" He grinned and when back to his list. "I promise you, your highness, that no war will break out. I was sent a letter requesting the kidnap of this particular princess in order to further, ah, True Love."

Toadstool's eyes remained narrowed, and Bowser sighed. "Would you like to talk to the princess?"

"Yes. I would."

Bowser grumbled something under his breath about "finally getting down all those stairs" and began to lumber away to the door hidden behind his throne that led to the main portion of the castle. "Come along, then. The Princess is in your room."

* * *

Squall was in the milled of a Caterchipiller massacre. Five swollen bugs had attacked him at the same time just as he'd neared the mountain range. The Lionheart slashed through the thorax of one of the remaining two and he whipped around to shoot the second in the head. He cast a frantic look to the green pipe hovering above him and hoped fervently that it would remain there for just a few more minutes! 

"Squall!"

The Lion slammed his gunblade through the middle of a Caterchipiller as a pair of shots rang out. Stormy eyes turned only momentarily towards the sound and saw Irvine running up, taking aim again.

"The others are here," Irvine continued as he shot the same Caterchipiller Squall was attacking in the face. "Rinoa told us about the pipe – everyone's in the Ragnarok-B waiting for us."

The Ragnarok-Beta – a smaller, more compact version of the Ragnarok that Balamb had been in the process of testing so that its movement across the globe wouldn't be as recognizable as the originals' gigantic build was. Squall nodded at Irvine's words and slashed the final Caterchipiller almost in half, the bullets from the Exeter finishing it off. He sheathed the Lionheart, promising to clean it later, and ran to where Irvine had come from, ignoring the cowboy's squawking about GFs.

He hurried onto the Ragnarok-B and made his way to the bridge (the only other room was the docking are that he was currently in). Irvine followed shortly and they appeared in the main room together, Irvine retreating to his seat next to Quistis. Squall, however, walked right up to Selphie in the pilot's seat and told her simply, "We need to go through that pipe."

Selphie scrunched her nose and commanded the Ragnarok-B to move even as she asked, "Are you sure this thing will fit through there?"

Squall grunted as Rinoa slammed into him and enveloped him in what could only be called a hug in jest. He struggled momentarily to both shove her off him and keep his balance as he said, "It will."

Selphie didn't ask how he knew, but did make the Ragnarok-B swerve just as Squall unhooked Rinoa so that the sorceress was thrown to the floor. The black-haired girl pouted as Squall quickly climbed into the co-pilot's seat and she herself sat behind Irvine with a whine. The cowboy grinned and twisted around in his seat to petpat the top of Rinoa's head.

"Hang on!" Selphie called as Rinoa growled and tried to bite Irvine. "Here we go!"

There was an odd sound as the nose of the Ragnarok-B touched the pipe and then there was the feeling of being stretched and squashed and being turned inside out. Then darkness.

And then blinding light.

* * *

"Just a warning," Bowser said suddenly as they approached the room with the kidnapped princess. "He's been pretty whiney and violent since he came here, so I'm going to cast Terrorize+ when I open the door." 

Toadstool blinked. "'He'?"

Bowser gave a shrug as he reached for the door. "I kidnap princesses, not random boys."

Before Toadstool had time to argue, the door was flung open and a wave of black magic grated against her flesh. She whipped out her Frying Pan out and clutched it tightly, but the abducted was already paralyzed – frozen in the middle of throwing a punch to the door. She saw him narrow his eyes (the only portion of his body he could move voluntarily aside from his lungs) and quickly looked him over. Blonde hair with bangs that spiked straight up, blue eyes accented by a tribal-looking tattoo on the left side of his face. He wore a black and red jacket over a black shirt, a pair of jeans, and deep red gloves with metal plates over the knuckles.

Clearing her throat and discreetly adjusting her weapon need she turn it on Bowser or boy, she said to him, "Greetings. I am Princess Peach Toadstool, ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. I would like to apologize for Sir Bowser's insolence, and, if you promise not to attack either of us, I will free you from your paralysis. You may blink once from 'yes' or twice for 'no'."

The boy gave a single, deliberate blink and Toadstool approached to place a gloved hand upon his unmarked cheek and cast Therapy. Immediately the boy's muscles fell lax and h sagged back, quickly taking up a relaxed-yet-defensive stance.

"That's better," Toadstool said and then smiled gently. "Now, what is your name?"

There was a moment's pause before a soft, "Zell," left his lips.

"Zell," Toadstool continued, feeling the name on her tongue, "do you wish to know what has happened?"

"Yes!" he spouted quickly, sounding very much like he wanted to curse.

"Very well." Toadstool turned to Bowser expectantly. "Sir Bowser – _please_ explain…"

* * *

Squall stepped off the Ragnarok-B, Quistis having given him his GFs and allowing him to junction while they were flying, and looked around. Selphie had landed in a forest just outside of a large city once it was figured out that none of them knew what Vista Hill even was. 

"We'd best hurry," Quistis said as she followed Squall out of the ship, adjusting her gloves. Squall bit back a sharp retort and instead opted from nodding and hurrying off in the direction of the city, Quistis following just behind.

'Go in, get information, get out,' Squall repeated in his head, unconsciously reaching for the handle of the Lionheart and gripping it tightly. 'If that Bowser has harmed Zell in any way… I'll kill him.'

The two suddenly emerged into a medieval-looking town, complete with skyscraping castle. They slowed their pace to a walk, though Squall's was slightly disgruntled, and Quistis looked around for someone to talk to.

As they were passing by a large stone house, on their way to the castle in hopes of encountering someone, the door opened suddenly and out waddled an odd-looking mushroom-person. It looked at them for a moment (Quistis and Squall paused, wondering if it was going to attack) and smiled.

"Hello, there," it greeted, voice high-pitched. "How are you?"

"We're looking for Vista Hill," Squall said monotonously, eyes all but glaring. "Do you know where it is?"

The mushroom gasped. "Vista Hill? Why would you want to go there?" It looked closely at Squall and saw the hilt of his gunblade. It smiled then and continued before either human could speak. "Nevermind – I think I know. Vista Hill is to the north east of here – you can't miss it."

Squall nodded and left, Quistis managing a "thank you" before hurrying after him. He refused to say anything as the boarded the Ragnarok-B except to tell Selphie the new directions. He then sat heavily in the co-pilot's seat and sank into thought, not even noticing when Rinoa attached herself to his arm and began whining about how scared she was.

* * *

Zell sighed and relaxed, sinking up to his nose in the bathtub full of hot water. After Bowser had explained about the letter to him (and later he found out that Peach, as she liked to be called "off duty," was learning this for the first time, too), he was more trusting toward the Koopa and angrier toward Rinoa (though he suspected that Peach's Therapy had something to do with his level of trust). He huffed, the resulting spray of water tickling the bridge of his nose. Just when he'd thought Rinoa couldn't get any creepier, she sends a letter off to a different dimension entirely telling some gigantic turtle to kidnap her so that "Squall would love her more." It made him feel sick. 

There came a knocking on the bathroom door and Peach's voice drifted in, a tinge of worry clinging t her words, "Zell? Are you in there?"

The blonde sat up suddenly and cursed as he banged his head against a metal rack and a small bottle fell on him, drenching him in the scent of berries. "Y-yeah!" He coughed.

"When you're finished, would you come out here, please?"

Zell dunked himself under the water, trying vainly to rid himself of the smell. Giving up, he climbed out of the tub and snatched up a towel, wrapping it about his waist. "Hold up, Peach. I'm almost out!"

He opened the door to the Pink room and Peach squeaked, looking off to the side and blushing. Zell swiped his bangs away from his face and asked, "What's wrong, princess? You ok?"

Peach's face turned even pinker and she told him, "When you went to take your bath, Sir Bowser collected your clothes to wash them, as he told you." Yes, Zell remembered that much before he entered the Bathroom of Pink Marble and Smelly Soaps. He frowned.

"What happened to them?"

"Well, the Boos around here – they'll eat just about anything…" She fidgeted with her gloves as Zell began to glower. Finally, she pointed to the bed and told him, "That's all we managed to rescue…" Zell looked and saw…

His chocobo-print boxers and his shoes.

"Sonuva–" he cried. "My clothes!"

"If you're worried about being naked," Peach said quickly, "then I have many clothes brought here from the castle – I'm sure there's something that will fit you – I'll even fix your hair to make it up to you."

Zell continued to whine even as Peach moved toward the wardrobe.

* * *

Squall approached the towering castle, dark stone, crimson towers and general atmosphere reminding him of Ultimecia's castle. At the very thought of it, he gripped the Lionheart tighter and listened to Quistis and Irvine behind him. Selphie and Rinoa were lingering behind, making sure the Ragnarok-B was well protected. The trio crossed the bridge over the moat of lava and approached the gates. Before they could push them open, or even knock, the gates swung open with an ominous creek. A ghost phased into view suddenly, holding a sign that read "Follow the Boo". 

Squall glared as it cackled and began to float away, pausing and waiting for them to follow.

"Are you sure about this?" Quistis asked, readying her Save the Queen.

"There's nothing else we can do," Squall said softly, following the ghost much to its amusement.

"Don't worry, Quisty," Irvine said, Exeter slung over his shoulder and ready to be fired at will. "We beat Ultimecia – we can get Zell back."

The ghost led them through a foyer, a hall full of statues, and then across a wooden bridge suspended over a lake of lava. It howled manically as the trio made it safely to the crimson door separating them and the throne room and vanished, sign falling to the ground with a clatter. Squall pursed his lips together and unconsciously gripped the hilt of the Lionheart tightly and had only a single, fleeting thought as he pushed open the doors. 'Zell…'

Sitting upon a great throne, the King of Koopas – Bowser himself – looked at the intruders. He stood and snorted an impressive fireball as he bellowed, "who dares enter my throne room!"

"Give Zell back," Squall growled, hearing Quistis snap her whip and Irvine ready his gun, not quite cocking it yet.

Bowser regarded him closely and Squall was reminded of a Scan before he sat back and laughed. "The Knight has finally come for his Princess, then? Terrapin!" he called suddenly and a handful of skeleton turtles appeared from the doorway behind him. Bowser waved a clawed hand and Squall felt the rush of magic without seeing it as the Koopa said, "Tell the Princess that his friends are here."

The turtles saluted and turned to the door, opening it to reveal a small flight of stairs and a thick oak door. From the other side of the door came two voices, one of which was immediately identifiable as Zell. Squall quickly followed after the turtles, Quistis and Irvine only going partway to watch his back, and watched as one of them knocked loudly, saying in a voice that echoed from deep within its shell, "King Bowser wishes to inform the Princess that his Knight is here."

There was a loud yelping noise and a light crash followed by laughter like the tinkling of bells and a dainty, "Come in."

The door was opened to reveal the pinkest room Squall had ever seen. Sitting atop a fluffy bed was a pretty blonde lady, giggling behind her palm. She looked up with soft blue eyes and dropped her hand to smile at him. "Greetings. Your friend is hiding under the bed."

"No I'm not!" Zell cried from under the bed and Squall saw a scrap of fabric disappear quickly. The woman just smiled and stood; she walked to the door, saying before she closed it, "I'll go inform your friends on how to get home."

"Zell?" Squall called tentatively. From under the bed there came a shuffling. "Come out, Zell."

"… I'd rather not…"

"Why?" Squall was confused.

"… A ghost ate my clothes…"

A smile threatened to cross his face and the brunette sighed. "I don't care if you're naked."

Another shuffle. "I almost wish I was…"

Before Squall could ask, Zell emerged from under the bed and the Lion did something he hadn't done in ages.

He burst out laughing.

Zell pouted and fumed, but he couldn't say anything in his defense. The only articles of clothing Peach ever brought to the castle were her long pink dresses and, fortunately or unfortunately – whichever was more appropriate for the time being, there was one that fit even Zell's bulky build. His bangs had been let down from their usual chocobo-tail and were now framing his face, feathering out to fall in his eyes.

Squall quickly put a hand over his mouth to catch his laughter and Zell continued to glower. Slowly, the Lion was reduced to chuckles and a smile that kept trying to stretch into a grin. "Are you all right? … Princess?"

Zell huffed and crossed his arms, face a deep red. "Oh, shut up." He tried to step toward Squall, but one shoe (he absolutely refused to wear Peach's heels) caught the hem of his dress and he jerked forward, flailing as he fell. Just as he was certain his face was about to meet the floor, he felt a pair of arms wrap about his wais and he was pulled up against something strong and warm.

Squall looked down at the flustered boy in his arms. Zell was flushed and jabbering on about something, flailing as wildly as he could. The scent of raspberries, interwoven with his own, teased Squall's nose.

Zell fell silent and froze as Squall reached to gently caress his cheek. His face darkened and he closed his eyes as he suddenly felt soft lips covering his own. Oh, Hyne, he was so soft…

Thousands of years passed in a few seconds and all too soon, Squall pulled back and Zell opened his eyes, focusing on the Lion's nose, as he couldn't meet his eyes. "S-Squall… what was…?"

"A Knight should kiss his Princess when he rescues her," Squall said softly, moving his hand to lightly tap Zell's nose.

"B-but what about Rinoa?" Zell finally managed to look up at Squall though lashes and bangs.

Squall snorted, thinking about how adorable Zell suddenly looked like that, and said disdainfully, "We're not dating. We've never dated. I've told her every day I don't like her, but she never listens. I just agree with her to stop her complaining."

"Oh…" Zell went quiet and Squall helped him back to his feet, though he remained in the Lion's arms. "Then what about me? I've… really liked you. For a long time. Do you just… agree with me to stop _my_ complaining?"

Squall kissed him again and Zell melted, relaxing into the brunette. When their lips parted, Squall said to him, "I care about you. I would… hurt myself before I ever hurt you. I want to be with you."

Zell blushed and buried his face in the crook of Squall's neck, reaching out to wrap his arms about the brunette's waist. "I would like that…"

They stayed like that for a while, content in each other's arms and taking in each other's scent. When Squall finally pulled away, Zell lingered for only a moment longer before stepping back, smiling at the light blush dusting Squall's cheeks. Suddenly, the Lion took Zell's hand in his own and said, "We should go – the others are probably worried."

Zell just nodded, silently enjoying Squall's hand entwined with his own. He hiked up the hem of his skirt with his free hand so that he wouldn't have a second fall and followed Squall as they left the room. Descending the small flight of stairs, the pair was greeted with loud, deep guffaws the moment Bowser caught sight of them.

"Dang, Peach, you're horrible!" Bowser laughed as Zell blushed again and hid behind Squall. Peach just smiled an innocent smile as Irvine joined the laughter and Quistis quirked an eyebrow.

Suddenly, Bowser gagged and coughed, blood dripping past his lips. Peach whimpered and clutched her head, eyes shut tight in pain.

"What's going on?" Quistis demanded.

"Uncontrolled black magic," Bowser growled out, taking a lumbering step forward. "It has the same feel as that letter…"

"The letter?" Squall questioned before the door swung open and Rinoa stalked in, Selphie trailing behind. Bowser vomited bright green blood and Peach's hair fluttered in a non-existent breeze as small cuts appeared on her rouged-cheeks.

Rinoa's gaze flew instantly to Squall and focused on his hand, still clasping Zell's. Her eyes flew open and she snarled, and even Squall could feel the breeze of magic grinding against his flesh. At the throne, Peach yelped as the blue broach on her chest cracked and more cuts appeared on her skin and even on Bowser.

"Squall!" Rinoa shrieked. "What's going on! How could you!" she clenched her fists and tears sprang to her eyes. "I thought… that we…"

"No, Rinoa," Squall said sharply and the sudden flare of magic softened, though he could see Bowser and Peach still in pain. "'We' were never anything more than comrades. You invented whatever relationship we had beyond that."

Rinoa gave a loud, fake sniffle and Zell stepped forward, saying, "You're hurting Bowser and Peach! If you're going to whine and moan – do it outside!"

Rinoa stopped her crocodile tears immediately and instead began to fume. She gave a short scream, turned on her heel and ran from the castle to wander the Mushroom Kingdom forever.

As soon as she was gone, Zell turned to Bowser and Peach concernedly, asking, "Are you two all right?"

Peach gave a shaky smile and Bowser hacked up a bit of blood. "Nothing too bad," the princess told the worried group. "A Group Hug will cure this."

This saying so, Peach held out her hands above her head. Soft rainbow-colored sparkles flew from her fingertips and descending upon both her and the Koopa, healing all their wounds. When the light died away, Bowser collected his feet beneath him and snorted a fireball, grumbling something under his breath, and Peach faced the group, saying to them, "I'm sure you must be tired from your trip. I'll be glad to let you rest at the castle in Mushroom kingdom and you can be on your way tomorrow."

"Awesome!" Selphie cheered, not quite understanding what was going on, but wanting to sleep in a castle nonetheless. "Please, Squall, can we?"

Squall sighed and looked over at Zell who was trying to punch Irvine for laughing at him and a small smile curved his lips. "Sure."

"Then follow me," the princess said with a gentle smile, taking a small piece of paper from Bowser as she passed him. "We'll be there in a short while."

Squall reached out and took Zell's hand in his own. The blonde gave a final, dress-hindered kick at the cowboy before throwing his arms about Squall's shoulders.

"Booyaka!" Selphie cheered, running over to Irvine and dragging him off. "Let's go!"

END

* * *

+ since Fear is a sucky status effect, and there is no paralysis in Mario RPG, I decided to change the effect of Terrorize.

* * *

Would anyone believe me if I said that this entire this started because of an inside joke between my girlfriend and me? In fact, if I bothered to look, I'm pretty sure I could find my drawing of Zell in Peach's dress that started this all. 

But other than that, I don't own FF8 or Mario or anything like that. So don't sue.


End file.
